After a very enjoyable evening – which was much more fun than most launch parties, I can tell you – the Urban Fox Blog is officially open for business. Hurrah!

Much as it seems a shame to lower the mood so soon, I couldn’t help but notice it is this dreadful woman’s 80th birthday:

You’ll notice the presence of Timmy Mallett, who is brandishing his large foam prop at her. (Anyone who was not a child in Britain in the mid 80s: don’t ask.)

Sadly, the plan to finish her off by using a real mallet backfired, when it was revealed that her lacquered hairdo was made of the same material as nuclear bomb shelters and could thus repel any such attack.

So British democracy had to suffer the heavy blow instead.

(Right kids? Yeah. Tch. We ‘ate Fatcher. Yeah.

This is all getting a bit Ben Elton circa 1984. I should take the sparkly jacket off really.)

Anyway, you may want to stay out of the Hyde Park area tonight. If you don’t, you run the risk of seeing the likes of the Queen, Jim Davidson, Joan Collins and Andrew Lloyd-Webber, who will be making their way to the vicious harridan’s birthday party.

Such a shame that I have a prior engagement.*

(* tidying my sock drawer, anything)