It’s a bit like being Kate Thornton on The X-Factor.

[suspense-ish music]

“I can now reveal…. [10 min pause]…. that the WINNER… [20 min pause]… by a SINGLE vote… [45 min pause]… is… [3 hour pause]… coming up right after this ad break!

[winks to camera]

Don’t go away!”

[Studio audience groans theatrically as though this doesn’t happen every single week]

Well, it was close. But the two paragraphs of personal information came out on top, by just one vote. So two paragraphs you shall have.

If you are horrified by this result, or you feel it will tarnish our co-blogship forever, please look away now. Here they are.


My father is from the East and my mother is from the West. I grew up in a fairly dull part of the Home Counties. You might call it an unhappy childhood; if you offered me a million quid to relive a single month of it, I’d turn you down. Luckily, I escaped at 18 to to study English literature in London. I chose the university purely on the basis of its arty students and cool staff. This is possibly a prime example of why 18-year-olds shouldn’t be allowed to make important decisions. But I don’t regret it. My pink-haired, pierced professors taught me how to think for myself. “Question everything,” they said.

My creative work is split. I am half musician and half writer. If forced at gunpoint to choose between the two artforms, I’d be torn, but I’d choose music. Those who guessed at music journalism weren’t wrong: some of my earnings are from this source. I have a bit of an ethical dilemma with it at times… obviously free music and guestlist places are pleasant enough, but essentially your writing is an extension of a corporate PR effort to shift product. Like all big business, the music industry isn’t very nice, and that’s putting it mildly. On the positive side, interviewing creative people has meant I’ve been able to have long conversations with two of my heroes. The first time was when I was 16 and still at school. I’d blagged my way to him with lies and cheek and teenage bravado. It was my first ever ‘celeb’ interview and it was an excruciating experience. The second time, I was a more sensible 29, and it was a delight. I wasn’t disappointed by either of the subjects, but it was hell on toast to try and do them justice in words afterwords.

Oh yeah, and I’m female.