Apparently some American bloke is delivering a speech tonight.

It seems he’s going to talk about how all the countries who decided to stop trading in dollars a few years ago and start trading in Euros instead – aka The Axis Of Evil – are still evil.

In the face of impending US economic collapse once the dollar ceases to be the world’s reserve currency – aka Risks To National Security – he will propose controlling these renegade nations (Iran, North Korea, what’s left of Iraq, what’s left of Afghanistan) by fair means or foul – aka Business As Usual.

It will last 38 minutes, not including breaks for spontaneous applause, heckling or laughter.

There, my American friends. Now you have a concise version before the event, you get to spend your evening doing something more fun than watching da Prez read an autocue. Here to help!


(I know these simian photos are so five minutes ago, but they remain irresistible.)