Apparently some American bloke is delivering a speech tonight.

It seems he’s going to talk about how all the countries who decided to stop trading in dollars a few years ago and start trading in Euros instead – aka The Axis Of Evil – are still evil.

In the face of impending US economic collapse once the dollar ceases to be the world’s reserve currency – aka Risks To National Security – he will propose controlling these renegade nations (Iran, North Korea, what’s left of Iraq, what’s left of Afghanistan) by fair means or foul – aka Business As Usual.

It will last 38 minutes, not including breaks for spontaneous applause, heckling or laughter.

There, my American friends. Now you have a concise version before the event, you get to spend your evening doing something more fun than watching da Prez read an autocue. Here to help!

Bush/Chimp

(I know these simian photos are so five minutes ago, but they remain irresistible.)